Sage Wedding Pros » Customer Service

Regaining Your Self-Worth After Working with a Difficult Client

Michelle Loretta — Thu, 13 May 2010 13:00:08 +0000

Ever work with a condescending client? You know… the person that intends to micromanage every step of your performance? It creates for a miserable working situation! This week, we are having a series of posts, written by Dina Eisenberg, Founder of Positively Wed, an educational resource for wedding professionals. This week she addresses the concerns of how to avoid working with difficult clients, and how to make the difficult relationships more peaceful.

Now that you understand bullies a little better because of yesterday’s post, let’s build in some compassion for you, too. There is nothing worse than second guessing yourself and feeling miserable. When you’re in the midst of a tussle with bride, you’re bound to feel a little hurt or insecure. And, having to fix a mistake or possibly ‘fire’ a client might leave you reeling with doubt. So, for the last post in this series, let’s talk about how to regain your confidence quickly after something goes awry.

Are you a Snapshot or Video?

Each one of us has something I call your core identity. It’s who you believe you are at the deepest level of your being. For instance, I know I’m honest, thoughtful, fun and caring. For you, you might say you’re cheerful or powerful or kind or organized.

Quick, in your mind’s eye think of a picture of yourself. I’m betting you saw a snapshot of you at a certain age. (I used to picture myself at 22 but since 40 is the new twenty, I’m going with that ) That’s how we tend to think of ourselves- as a snapshot in time. Like a Polaroid picture. However, it’s more accurate to see yourself as a video- moving, changing with every minute.

When you hold onto a static image of yourself, one that’s inflexible, it becomes very difficult to deal with an integrity attack skillfully. What is an integrity attack?

Losing Your Balance

Have you ever walked down the street then suddenly tripped over seemingly nothing on the concrete? Or maybe you were traveling on a boat or cruise and experienced a momentary swell that took you slightly off your feet and tangled your belly? In those moments, there’s a sense of surprise, shock, disbelief and anxiety, and an unpleasant shift in reality.

Same thing happens to each of us when someone or something threatens our core identity. That’s an integrity attack. Scientifically speaking, it causes a cognitive dissonance between who you think you are and who the world perceives you to be. And, it brings on the same feelings as tripping:

Surprise What happened?

Shock How did that happen to me?

Disbelief That couldn’t be true about me?

Anxiety What if that is true about me?

When you experience an integrity attack (real or imagined). It feels awful, and it’s likely you’ll take one of two stances: maximize or minimize.

For example, say you think of yourself as a prompt person who is rarely late. You think lateness is a sign of disrespect. Well, your week has been crazy with rescheduling and last minute issues so you’ve been late to a few meetings. You’re hurrying to meet your bride at the bakery for a tasting but an accident blocks traffic making you 20 minutes late. You called, but when you arrive the bride says, ‘Gee, I guess my budget needs to be bigger if I want your full attention.’ Now, that’s an integrity attack!

Maximize: You get totally flustered and apologize repeatedly to the bride. You call yourself an idiot and make jokes at your expense about needing a better watch. You accept all the responsibility and feel awful about being so rude.

Minimize: You cooly brush off her comment and say you are to start tasting. Meanwhile, you wonder if you should call her on the times she’s been late to meetings or whether she could’ve gotten through traffic any better. You didn’t cause the accident and you’re ticked.

Each reaction is an extreme, you see, on a continuum of feeling. One end accepts all the responsibility, and the other accepts none. And, we tend to fluctuate between them until we can regain our balance somewhere in the middle. You can speed that process, and make yourself feel a lot better by having a Rebalancing Conversation with yourself.

Regaining Your Balance and Confidence

Simply put, the Rebalancing Conversation helps you to complexify yourself. Yes, complexify- I made that word up. You want to see yourself not as a static image, but as an evolving video that has a blooper track. Recognizing that you are a much more interesting, dynamic, complicated human being than you think is a good thing. It allows you to see your own flaws and have compassion, which in turn, allows you to have compassion for the flaws of others, namely your brides and other wedding vendors.

How do you rebalance? You call to mind your complexity. Let me tell you a short story about me. Years ago, I was asked to speak at a conference in Denver, a lovely city that I’d never visited before. I arrived in town the night before as is my custom so I could relax and prepare. Well, shortly after arriving, I felt sick. Nauseous, dizzy and plain crummy.

Turns out that new visitors to Denver often experienced altitude sickness that lasts about 24 hours. Furious with myself, I ranted about how stupid I was not to check first. How terrible my presentation would be the next day because I’d be worried about being sick on stage. How disorganized the event was for not warning me. I just blew up. Then, I rebalanced.

I quietly restated my core identity-I am an organized professional who always delivers value to her audience- and allowed for more complexity:

I am organized, but not always.
I am a professional, but even professionals don’t know everything
I still have valuable information to offer, even if it’s not presented at my personal best level
I always have fun with the audience, and we will today
I will do my best, and that will be enough

Before I knew it I had calmed down enough to think practically about the next day. And, I shouldn’t have worried because the presentation went great and only my contact knew that I was altitude sick.

The key part of the Rebalancing Conversation is recognizing that there are times when you are your core identity and times when you are not and accepting both. That way, you can be more flexible.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is a little like expecting the bull not to attack you because you are a vegetarian. ~ Dennis Wholey

How does this apply your wedding business? It’s crucial! There will be brides (mothers, grooms, friends) who will try to take over your role or imply you’re not doing a good job. There will be those who compare themselves to you, and say ‘I could do better.‘ You can either suffer their integrity attacks, or flow with them like Neo in the Matrix.

Shift your focus away from their perception of reality back to your own, knowing whatever you do, you do it to the best of your abilities on any given day.

About PositivelyWed.com-

Dina Eisenberg, Founder and former attorney & mediator, teaches wedding professionals like you to speak and act with grace, power and confidence so you can fall back in love with your wedding business! Grab her free audio, Contracts That Work, at http://PositivelyWed.com

When Your Client Acts Like a Bully

Michelle Loretta — Wed, 12 May 2010 13:00:48 +0000

Image: Creative Commons License

Ok, in my first post, we talked about how to set expectations so you can avoid having difficult clients. So what if you have a bridezilla or two in your book already? No worries, I got your back. While we could spend hours on talking about mindset, perspective, generating options and other conflict management techniques, I’m gonna go straight to the toughest people problems for most of us- bullies. Let’s chat about what makes a bully, and then how to deal with him or her.

My Way or the Highway

Bullies are made, not born in my opinion. I can’t imagine a tiny infant saying, ‘my way or else’. OK, I have kids so I can, but you know what I mean. It’s our experiences and how we handle them that shape our behaviors. Kids don’t want to act out in less than positive ways they just haven’t learned any better. Guess what? Same thing is true for bullies.

Bullies don’t know more than one or two ways to get what they want in the world. They tend to be stuck in one style of conflict resolution: competing. (There are five styles: competing, avoiding, accommodating, compromise and collaboration) A person who competes believes her needs, wants, opinions should take precedence over anyone else’s. Everyone know someone like this; in fact, a competer might be sitting in your chair.

Bully brides (or grooms) will act in insulting or intimidating ways if that worked in the past to get their way. While it’s natural to want to placate this kind of groom and promise him the world, you’ll do both of you a good service if you stand your ground and try some creative problem-solving.

This is the foundation of how I deal with most situations in work or ‘in real life’. When dealing with difficult clients, the key is to get curious about what they need (not want), then discover ways to satisfy that need.

Be Generous- Give the Benefit of the Doubt

In my book, being a bad client is kinda like having lipstick on your teeth. You might not know you’re one until someone tells you. Consequently, I tend to assume my clients don’t know they are being difficult. Sounds ridiculous, I know. But you probably know a bride who was so focused on her day she forgot about every thing else and pursued it with complete dedication. I know I had a near obsession with a certain stainless steel sink when we renovated our kitchen. It happens. If your bride knew a more skillful way to get what she needed besides badgering you, she’d be using it. Be patient up to a point.

Be Positive!

Happiness finally rates a research study! Scientist are discovering that having a positive attitude goes a long way toward being happier and resolving disputes. You can influence others toward finding a positive resolution just be thinking it can happen. Since over 70% of communication is non-verbal, sending a positive vibe is cooler than you might think. Don’t be pollyanna-ish. Just quietly be assured that if everyone tries hard a solution is possible. (Note: the solution chosen may not be your favorite. That’s ok. It’s their life.)

Be Curious

The best problem-solvers are curious. When a client demands something impossible, take a minute to wonder why. Then, simply ask.

Let me give you an example. When my hubby and I got hitched I really wanted candlelight at our venue which was a gorgeous Victorian mansion. It meant a lot to me to create an intimate, cozy atmosphere for our guests. My florist was smart enough to ask me what mattered most of all to me. So, when the fire marshall said no candles in a historic building, she understood how to create the feeling I wanted without real candles.

Sure, you may have to say no but ask enough questions to 1) separate a strong desire from an actual need and 2) define a variety of ways to meet the need and 3) explore what happens if the need can’t be met. There are a lot of ways to skin a cat, as the saying goes. Ask some of my favorite questions:

When you say xxx, what does that mean to you?
What does xxx look like for you? (i.e. elegant. What would an elegant wedding look like to you?)
What are the three most important things you need me to know right now?
If I could wave a wand, what would be the solution?
If that couldn’t happen, what would be next best?
Specifically, why won’t xxx work for you?

Use these questions with my blessings. I’ve discovered millions of hidden meanings and opportunities with these beauties.

Dealing with a cranky bride or overzealous groom doesn’t have to ruin your day or theirs. You can use these tools to redirect the conversation back to something productive. And, if all else fails, be cheered. You don’t have to live life as that bride.

About PositivelyWed.com-

Setting Expectations for Client Relationships

Michelle Loretta — Tue, 11 May 2010 13:00:59 +0000

Image: Creative Commons License

My favorite professor in law school had a saying that’s true to this day, ‘People are like eggs. Some are fragile. Others are strong. Some of them are cracked. You have to take them as you find them.’

It’s absolutely true that each couple, each bride, will be different for you. Some will be grateful for your help and appreciate all you do. Others, not so much. While the popular thinking is that the customer is always right. I don’t agree with that.

I take the stance that everyone deserves to work with me as their wedding vendor coach, but no one is entitled to my help. That means that when a client misbehaves, I have a right to:

Set expectations about our working relationship
Remind the bride or couple of the best ways to work with me
Fire a client when the situation calls for it.

That’s a lot to take in, and even more to accomplish, especially if you’re worried about losing a client or unintentionally driving away potential clients. So, I created a series of posts to discuss what you can do to create an ideal working environment for your wedding business.

While most of my comments will reference wedding planning or corporate work, don’t be fooled. These suggestions work well for any wedding business.

What did you expect?

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. ~ Brian Tracy

Here’s a fairly popular scenario I hear. You- the wedding pro- planned the essential parts of your wedding business like the name, logo and what type of bride you’d serve. Then you set out to get clients, any clients so long as they were getting married and picked you. No shame in that. Every new business owner feels that way. [best Captain Kirk voice] I MUST GET CLIENTS! Preferably paying ones.

So, the lions share of your effort went into attracting clients with little thought to who they really are- inside. Your phone rings, but you’re not always so thrilled with who you’re talking to. Over time, you come to resent your brides, their annoying, intimidating ways, and frankly, your business for making you feel petty and unsure. Designing and planning weddings just isn’t fun anymore thanks to your difficult clients. So how do you take back your joy and make work fun again? Set expectations.

Set Expectations

Doesn’t’ matter where you are in your business, brand new or veteran, real businesses have policies and rules. You need some, even though you may think of wedding planning, or photographer or officiating or DJing as personal and not something to sully with legalese.

Feh! Rules can be kind and thoughtful. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s irresponsible not to have guidelines. How could you expect someone to know how to act if she’s never experienced working with a wedding professional before?

It’s really up to you to set the tone both with clients and, if needed, with other wedding professionals for what you expect from your working relationship. You’ll save yourself untold aggravation and be rewarded with clients that really do value you when you set expectations.

Know What You Want

My dad used to say, ‘If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.’, which seemed awful cryptic when I was thirteen. Now, as a business woman I understand it better. Loosely translated in this context, it means create policies that work for you.

When I started out training corporate managers to be more comfortable with communication, I worked with a lot of non-profits. I totally got their mission to do good and was sympathetic to their lack of funding. I tried to be as flexible as possible until one day when the HR manager innocently asked if I could accommodate just two more participants. Wanting to be helpful, I said yes. Eight more folks showed up and totally blew the budget.

I actually lost money because of those additional folks. Lessons learned. And, that was how my pro bono policy was born. Each quarter, my company donated x number of hours or y dollar amount, whichever came first, to non-profits that needed support. Although I was nervous, sharing this policy had a positive effect. I could help when I could without feeling guilty. And, when I finally said no, clients understood.

Want to reduce difficult clients? Create some guidelines and policies. Be brave, here. This is your business. The one you care for and nurtured along. Your baby, your rules. So, don’t try to be too accommodating. Be realistic. Meet your own needs. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s like they say on the plane- put on your own mask before helping others. Having things your own way is the best perk of having your own business.

Ask yourself how you prefer to handle these types of issues then write it down:

Payments- late, post-dated, non-payment, pre-payment, vendor payments, etc. Definitely, a touchy subject, you want to have a set plan for how to handle money issues and time to practice saying it out loud. Really. You don’t want to stutter when you tell a bride that you won’t be able to continue services unless her final balance is paid.
Deadlines- decide which deadlines are non-negotiable to you then share that with your couple. Promote compassion by explaining what happens if the deadline is missed and how that can impact their wedding.
Scope of Project- absolutely a must if you want to avoid ‘the creep’. You know, the ‘one more little thing’ I once worked with a general contractor that required we talk over each change order on the job. Smart guy because after the first two, the aggravation of scheduling a meeting and talking over the change prompted me to get with the program. What could you do to be open while still protecting your business against overreaching?

Of course, you’ll have your own ideas. I’d love to hear what you come up with. Please share your ideas about creating boundaries in the comments so everyone benefits.

About PositivelyWed.com-

Common Sense of Correspondence

Michelle Loretta — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:02:39 +0000

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Lately, I’ve been a little shocked by people’s email and telephone protocol. What seems to me as something so simple and straightforward does not seem to be the case for everyone. I’m going to preface this post by laying down a few assumptions:

I believe in setting boundaries. No one should be answering email and phonecalls late into the night. I also believe in keeping weekends. It is OK to not respond to email on Saturday-Sunday. (Or Sunday-Monday if you work on Saturdays.)
There are days that our job requires us to be out of the office: meeting with clients, at site visits, at networking functions.
We all get busy and there are days where we are bogged down and can simply not respond to everyone’s inquiry.

Let’s address a few HUMONGOUS CORRESPONDENCE OFFENSES:

Not responding to email in a timely fashion

Email MUST be responded to within 24 hours. Here are my rules for ensuring his happens:

I quickly scan my email for personal and business. Personal email usually requires a little more time and thought. My friends, fortunately, do not require a quick response. Business correspondence does.
At the end of my workday, I check my inbox to make sure every single business email has received a reply of some sort.
If I do not have an answer or need more time for an email, I simply let the sender know, “I’ll get back to you before the end of the week.”
I archive and file all email once responded to. My inbox has only “open items”.

If you have trouble, organizing your email and keeping everything straight, you may need to set up folders and filters. See this post on setting up your email inbox.

Like I said, there are days that we have maxed out on our responsibilities as business owners and we must prioritize. Some times email must play a second fiddle in order to fry the bigger fish. This is completely understandable. The problem is when poor correspondence becomes the norm. Not only are you sacrificing potential business, but also you are sacrificing relationships with colleagues. You are sacrificing your image and your brand.

Responding to a phonecall with an email

I’m not a big phone person. I prefer email because I’m very visual. I need to see something in writing for it to truly set in. It also creates an easy reference for me to take action in the future. I know many wedding professionals agree. Planning a wedding is an intricate web of many little pieces that are nice to “see”.

There are times, though, that a phonecall is necessary. And, usually a phonecall is made when something is urgent and/or very important. If I’m calling you, do not email me back. There’s a reason I phoned you. Just like with email, ensure that you have returned every voicemail at the end of the day.

Now… there is only ONE reason a phonecall should receive an email reply and that would be if you want to set up a better time to talk by phone. There are days that I simply cannot take a phonecall. I understand this. Typically, I schedule ALL phonecalls if I can. If you receive a phonecall that you cannot take and it is NOT urgent, then a quick email asking to schedule a time is appropriate. Again, make sure the call is not urgent or this defeats the purpose.

Phone = Urgent
Email = Not Urgent

Please respond to phonecalls with phonecalls.

Not setting an “out of office” responder

I am a HUGE fan of the “out of office” auto-responder. You should be setting this on your email any time that you cannot or will not be responding to email within 24 hours. If you have the slightest doubt that you will be able to respond to email, just set the auto-responder. This is a great habit to establish. Here are some examples of when to use this:

Out of the office for site visits
Away from your desk for client meetings
At home with your kids for the day
Have family visiting from out of town
On vacation or business travel
On the weekend (especially if you take an “unconventional” weekend such as Sunday – Monday)
You are simply too swamped to respond to email

The last point is VERY important. If you are slammed with work, you need to let people know. Otherwise, you look irresponsible. If you cannot take any more business and don’t plan on responding to inquiries for some time, please let people know: “We are booked through the end of April. We will be meeting with clients beginning May 1. If you are interested in setting a time to meet, reply with your May availability.” If your heavy workload is confined to a short window of time, let people know, “I’m in the throws of invite assembly! Woohooo! Please know that I’ll be in touch with you within 72 hours and not a minute more.”

The auto-responder is awesome for giving you breathing space. It allows you to work on email when you can best respond. Not only does it curb the expectations of the sender, but also allows you to be present with your other commitments.

How about you? What are your correspondence pet peeves and what are your solutions?

Turning Away Business

Michelle Loretta — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 14:59:21 +0000

Is it a match? ~ Creative Commons License

This week we’ve been discussing consults: how to create a consistent client experience and how to identify a difficult client. The big question of the week is:

“How do I turn away a client that I don’t want to work with?”

There is no easy way to do this. It’s like telling a date that dinner was really nice but you don’t want to see them again. ARGH. Painful.

You do need to find your own style. But, I’m going to give you some help. Here are my tips:

Don’t Lie

Don’t say you are booked. Why did you take the consult appointment in the first place? It also makes you look flakey. And personally, I can smell a liar a thousand miles away. Honesty is key to the integrity of your business. Even if that client is not a match, you want to do this honestly.

Practice Makes Perfect

The first time is really hard. And, you will likely be bad at turning away a client. You will feel like a goof. You will feel clumsy. You will probably not look very good. But, it does get easier. And, learning how to do this is VITAL to the success of your business (and your sanity).

Did You Listen?

In the consult, you should have been able to identify key reasons as to why this bride or groom is not a match for your business. You will need to know these reasons to help identify why it is not a match.

Allow Them To Turn You Down

Once you get good at identifying the “red flags” of a difficult client you’ll become skilled at “steering the consult”. When a client comes in with demands that I know I cannot fulfill, I start asking questions, “So, tell me, is this what you are looking for?” I fully know what the answer is going to be. I explain to them my limitations and fears in being able to fulfill their needs. They start to see where this is going. We both come to the same conclusion: it’s not a match. It’s amicable. This is a mutual break-up. If you listen to what they are saying, you can put it onto their court. The decision becomes theirs to turn you down.

This Is Business

I know this is nutty, but one of the best lessons I learned about being in business was from the TV show “The Apprentice”. Trump says, “Don’t take this personally. This is business.” This is a tough thing to swallow in an industry that is VERY personal. But just knowing (in your head and your heart) that this is a business decision will make you feel stronger. This doesn’t mean you have to be cruel to your client. It just means that in your head you need to believe in your reason for doing this: It is a smart business decision.

Be Humble

Even if you are an “award-winning” wedding pro who can have their pick of clients… and, even if you have an artistic form that is unique and untouchable… do not be a diva (or a dick.) I’ve heard a few stories of arrogant pros that basically tell the client, “That is beneath me. I will not do that. That is so boring (or ugly – or tacky.)” You may feel that you cannot compromise your artistic integrity. But, you don’t have to be mean about it. This is the most important day of people’s lives. Don’t spit on it. Yes, I’ve had people ask me for invites with doves and interlocking hearts. I won’t do them. But, I wouldn’t dream of telling them that they are passé (or dare I say it, tacky.) This is their dream day. Don’t ruin it with arrogance.

A Match Is Not A Match

Ultimately, if it’s not a match, it’s not a match. Trying to make it fit is not only doing you a disservice but also giving your client a bad experience. If you were unable to “steer the consult” so that the client turns you down, you are going to have to do it. If they want a proposal and you know it is not a match, you are going to have to let them know. It’s a difficult conversation, but YOU CAN DO IT. (It gets easier over time.) You need to find a way that is comfortable for you.

For me, since it involves invitation design, I focus on the design element “You are a lovely couple and I would love to work with you. But, I need to be honest. I don’t think I’m going to be able to provide the service you want. You want x and my expertise is y. (Or, your deadline is x and my timeline is y.) I think you will be much better suited with another designer.”

If you are providing a service, it is a little more challenging because you can’t pin it down on something tangible like “creative differences”. Sometimes it is just a personality mismatch. You have to remember that if you are planner, a wedding is your product. Whether the client is a little coo-coo or their taste is different than yours, you are not going to be able to provide the wedding they want. You need to let them know that. They may be put off in the beginning. But, by assuring them that you really just want them to have the best wedding and that you are not the one to give them that, they will be better in the end.

Help Them Find A Match

Depending on why I turn away business, I usually give people some recommendations. I never want to send a bridezilla to another vendor. But, usually it is a design mismatch or a personality mismatch. If it is a bridezilla, I try to identify what about them is difficult. There are some planners who work wonders on difficult people and can handle all types! Knowing how to match people is part of your job. You need to know when it’s a good match for you, and when it’s a good match for someone else.

You will “make good” by helping the client find a match. By identifying key needs of theirs and helping them find someone to work with will reflect strongly on your business. “You said that you wanted to have white doves flying overhead while 10 small children toss soft pink petals by your feet as you walk down the aisle to the song You are so Beautiful. I know of a planner who is also an awesome designer.”

Helping them find a match is key to having a good reputation. It will also personally make you feel better to have a solution for them. Furthermore, they will remember your generosity. I’ve had people refer their friends to me even though we were not a match. Kindness and generosity go a long way – even with a bridezilla!

In Summary…

There is no easy way to do this. You need to find your own style. But, if you listen and learn what the client wants, you can determine whether it’s a match. FOCUS on making a MATCH. Whether that match is with you or with someone else, your job is to find a solution.

What do you think, wedding pros? What are your tips for letting someone down?

Creating a Consistent Customer Experience

Michelle Loretta — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 14:30:26 +0000

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When you hear of a business that offers a good customer experience, you first think of their quality and their service. Within those two characteristics lies a third one: consistency. Your quality and your service are only as good as their consistency.

Systematic consistency…

In Michael Gerber’s The E-Myth, he discusses how this consistency can make or break a legion of devotees. He gives the example of his barber. He goes to get his haircut and is always offered a cup of coffee, consistently handed the newspaper, and systematically offered “the usual”. He loves his barber. He consistently receives this high level of service. He gladly refers this business because he knows his friends will be treated the same as he is treated. His friends will be attended to, flawlessly.

Your best hotel stay…

Think about your best hotel stay. What was that like? Chances are, during your stay, there was a level of consistency you could expect every day. For me, it was a stay last fall at Fiesta Americana Hotel in Cancun. The level was unparalleled to anything I had ever experienced. Every single person in that hotel was attentive to my needs. From the server at the bar, to the lady sweeping the patio, to the gal at registration…. every single person acknowledged and serviced me. And, that consistency was even extended to my 1-year-old daughter. I could not believe that they serviced her at the same level as they serviced her grandfather.

Creating your customer’s consistent experience…

We are often so caught up in making the sale, and getting the proposal, that we don’t always create “the experience”. What is your customer’s experience working with your business? Is it happenstance? Or, have you intentionally created their customer experience? Is this experience consistent for every person with which you meet? Or, do you forget to be consistent because you are just trying to make it through the day?

Here are some tips for creating a customer experience:

Create a script or process of what happens during a consult. This will give you a starting point on which to build your consistent customer experience. Also, by writing it down you are creating a systematic approach to consistency.
Decide how you want to “treat” the customer. Sometimes simple touches like offering a cup of coffee in the morning or a glass of wine in the evening go a long way. Be intentional, not happenstance.
What are the questions you ask of your customer and their event? Are you consistently listening? Are you consistently interested in what they tell you?
Do you have specific music to get them “in the mood”? Mood music is powerful. When I worked for a French clothing importer, we always played a range of French music to get them inspired to buy for their stores. We created a French experience which they then took to their boutiques.
If you have employees, ensure that each one of them has been educated on your company’s customer experience.
If you don’t meet with clients at your office, where are you meeting them? Is it conducive to the experience you want to create?
Are you taking care of customer needs?
Do you clearly explain your process so that they know what to anticipate? This is key in molding your clients’ expectations.
Love the experience. If you don’t like it, you won’t do it. If you are bored with it, you need to redefine it. You need to love providing the experience or it won’t happen.
Have fun with it! What are some creative ways you can create a unique experience?

Lather, rinse, repeat…

Consistency is all about repetition. Once you define “the experience” you must consistently present this to all clients. People will come to expect it and that is a GOOD thing. This is what repeat and referral business is all about. I know I’ll be heading south to Cancun soon… and I’ve got my eye on that Fiesta Americana Hotel!

Come on back tomorrow… we’ll continue talking about consults… and discuss some “RED FLAGS” (how to identify problematic customers).

What To Do When Your Business Gets A Negative Review

Michelle Loretta — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:00:15 +0000

We’ve all heard the stories of that one customer that posts a very negative review of a business on a review site (yelp, the knot, wedding wire). “Oh my goodness! My reputation is ruined. I am finished. How could she have said that?” Maybe you have personally been affected by something like this.

We’re going to assume for the purpose of this discussion that you have a top-notch business and this is an outlier in your reputation. We’re also going to make the assumption that most of our clients are “the best in the world” but that every now and then we do have that “one wacko” who sends our season in a whirl. What is a wedding pro to do? What are you to do with this blemish in your otherwise spotless record?

Be Proactive

It’s important that if your business is featured on any rating sites to make sure you follow your reviews closely. Reward and thank those people that have given you high marks. Their word is worth gold and you should do everything to shower them with love and attention. And, for the occasional Sour Sally my recommendation is this:

Be Graceful
Remember that you are in the public arena… the way that you response is often more valuable than what it is that she or you say.
Leave Emotion at the Door
It’s easy to get upset by things like this but remember that this is only one customer’s opinion. If you stand beside your product, do not let this phase you. It’s easy to start pointing fingers when you are angry or sad. This only makes you look worse.
Resolve to Resolve the Issue
Talk to your client offline about the review and express a deep desire to correct the problem. If you are earnest (and have left emotion at the door) you will be able to communicate openly and the client will soften their approach.
If Appropriate, Show Resolution
If it is appropriate, share with the online community how you have worked to resolve the problem. Keep in mind that no one likes excuses, so steer clear of sounding like you are full of them (regardless of who’s at fault).

Don’t Shy Away

I was terrified when Wedding Wire first went online, “Oh my God, my once-in-a-year- wacko-client will get on there and say bad things about me.” I’ve told you before that we survey all of our customers and am proud of our reputation. But it’s that one bridezilla that always scares me. One rotten apple spoils the whole barrel, right?

Well… maybe not!

Fortune Small Business Magazine recently had an article that you can read here that shows how even bad product reviews can boost sales. In the article, a retailer takes a risk by posting products to a review site. Even though there are those occassional bad reviews, the good far outweigh the bad. And, ultimately people want to be able to comparison shop. In other words, the marketing benefit of being exposed to these “comparison shoppers” far outweighs the threat of a bad review. It also gives the retailer a great opportunity to interact with clients and potential customers.

Seth Godin also talks about this in his book Tribes: “When I get a bad review, my feelings are hurt. But, it’s not enough to ruin my day because I realize that my book got noticed. Most people loved it. A few people hated it. I realize what a badge of honor it is to get a bit of criticism at all.”

Maybe it’s true what they say… bad press is better than no press? Well, I don’t know if I’d intentionally take my business down that road… but it helps know that I don’t need to lose sleep over something like the occasional poor review.

People Lessons I’ve Learned…

Michelle Loretta — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 13:00:52 +0000

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This week I’m sharing with you some of the lessons that I’ve learned in my five years as a small business owner in the wedding industry. Yesterday, we covered “Productivity Lessons“. Today, we’ll discuss the “People Lessons” I’ve learned. They are lessons about communicating with, working with, and collaborating with people.

5 Lessons I’ve Learned about People

1 – Be a Mentor, not a Manager

If you have employees and/or if you plan on having them someday, my best recommendation is to mentor them, don’t manage them. I’ve had the same message for everyone that works for me: “You may work here until you are 92. You may move on in 3 months. Regardless of the length of our relationship, I want to give you life lessons that you’ll use in your career.” With that mindset you will both have a mutual relationship of support and understanding. Communication will be much more open. Training will be much smoother. When you see your role as a mentor and educator, your employees will be eager to learn and become invested in everything about your business. And, you’ve got a better chance at them working for you until they are 92 if they are invested in what they are doing and learning.

2 – When issues arise, address them immediately

One bad apple can spoil the barrel. If someone on your team has a poor attitude or is not bringing what he or she committed to, then it is time to face the issue. Not doing so will sour the experience of everyone who works for you. This will ultimately lead to a decline in your business. Confronting a problem employee is an extremely challenging thing to do. But, it’s an important lesson to learn… and practice makes perfect. And, if you’ve been the mentor then your job will be made easier.

In my 12 years of managing individuals the best approach has always been one of concern: “I’ve noticed a change in XYZ. I’m concerned about ABC. What is your perception?” The fascinating thing is that often times it is something personal and the person is completely unaware that it is affecting their work. By having an open line of communication and by acting as a mentor to the individual, you’ll have a lot better chance at breaking through. I always end with asking this question, “I need to know that you are committed to ABC. Can I count on you?” You’ve clearly communicated the expectation and it’s time for both of you to move forward in a positive direction.

3 – Collaborate don’t Compete

I recently touched upon the magic of embracing your competition, so I’m going to take a different angle here. Those who collaborate in this industry have a team of people to support their business. Those who fixate on competition only have themselves. (It really does take a village to have a successful business!) I’ve heard horror stories of vengeful-cliquey-venemous battles between wedding vendors. Hey – there are plenty of brides to go around for all of us! By collaborating with your competitors you are bringing a strong unified collection of wedding professionals in your segment. You are strengthening the industry as a whole. Everyone has something different to offer, so find out how you can work together and how the industry as a whole can rise to the top. If you see someone who is doing something similar to you and it makes you nervous (I’m not going to lie that this doesn’t make me nervous) find out how you can work together, not apart.

4 – Communicate!

I said it in yesterday’s post and I’ll say it again: GOOD communication is 80% of getting anything done. (No I didn’t do a study to come up with that 80% number… it just feels right. ) If you want to be successful in this industry communicate efficiently and effectively with everyone you have contact: vendors, clients, employees. I am blown away when I don’t get a response to a phone inquiry or an email for a week or sometimes longer. By returning phone calls and email promptly you are already doing what many people do not. Let people know what you are doing every step of the way. If someone asks you a question that you cannot answer immediately (it requires some research or additional work) let that person know that you are working on it and will give them an answer by X date. It’s that simple.

5 – Listen

If you pay attention and listen carefully, people will express their needs to you. This is most prevalent in a sales meeting with a potential client. It’s natural to want to be the dominant person during a sales meeting. After all the client has come to you for your expertise. The danger is in jumping too soon. By exploring and really listening to what your client has to say about his or her wedding, you’ll better be able to educate them about the best match between your business and their needs, wants, desires. The first step is to listen. The second step is to define a need. The third step is to educate. The last step is to introduce a potential match.

And with that… I leave you to go off in the wedding world with so many wonderful people!