Work-Life balance is a myth. 

People who appear to be good at balancing their work and their personal lives are REALLY good at prioritizing.  Prioritizing is knowing what’s urgent and/or important at any given moment.  It is choosing to do one thing and choosing NOT to do another thing. This means that you sometimes choose work over your life and other times you choose life over your work.  These choices are all intentional.  And, when someone has good “work-life balance” it’s because they are good at making these choices.

Read the rest of the article here…

Do you stop occasionally to completely tune out from work (and the associated technology)?

This is so very challenging to do.  Our smartphones are so smart that we can do everything on them all at once.  But I’ve noticed that when I’m constantly looping in to check technology that I don’t give my mind the chance to rest.  And, I end up tired and burned out during the “work week”.  When I tune out technology and turn off my gadgets I come back to work rested, relaxed, and ready for action.  Believe me, it’s hard to shift gears like this. But, it’s worth it!

Here are some things I do to completely “unplug” myself:

• Focus on the task at hand.
  The “task” can be something as simple as watching TV.  I’m as guilty as the next person of tweeting while simultaneously watching TV.  But, at the end of the night I’ve missed half the show.  And, it could be my favorite show.  What a waste.
• Embrace a hobby.
  Idle hands are the devil’s playthings.  If I’m not busy doing something I totally enjoy doing, my hands are going to turn to my iPhone.  When I’m bored I do this.  And, without a hobby to embrace outside of my work, I get bored.
• Plan outings with friends.
  This one is a no-brainer…. but I’m going to mention it anyways.  I find that some weekends (or times that I should be relaxing) I am stuck in my technology because of the social aspects of it, namely social media.  In other words: I am wanting to interact with people. Facebook and twitter are only a few swipes away.  But, by doing this, I’m not unwinding the way I could be with a good real-life laugh with friends.
• Read a book – made of paper.
  I read all sorts of things on my gadgets: blog posts, newspapers, books, etc.  But, I’ve noticed that it’s not nearly quite as relaxing as a good old-fashioned book.  There is something about the pages that transports me to another world that feels quite decadent.  I think it’s the luxury of time to sit around and *just read* is the decadence itself.
• Commit to unplugging daily.
  I find that I’m much better at being tech-free on weekends if I can commit to it daily.  I try to avoid technology after 7pm weekly.  This gives me time to relax and time for my brain to rest.  It also preps me for the longer technology fast over the weekend.

How about you?  How do you unplug yourself from technology?

• Do you pick up the phone every time it rings?
• Do you answer email as soon as it hits your inbox?
• Does your staff ask you questions all day every five minutes?
• Do you set appointments based on  your clients’ schedules?
• Are you multi-tasking?

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Who is in control of your schedule?  Are you?  Or – are other people?

I hear a lot of wedding pros tell me that their days are a series of tending to the most urgent issues and not always the most important ones.  Here’s the TRUTH: few things are truly urgent.  The phone doesn’t need to be picked up at all times.  Email doesn’t need to be responded to ASAP.  And, appointments can be set on YOUR schedule, not your clients’ schedules.

You NEED to have control of your day. (Or – have better control of your day.)

If you allow interruptions to rule your life, you won’t be able to accomplish what you want and need for your business.  Here are…

Four ways to gain better control of your day:

1. Have an hour or two each day (at a minimum) where you let your calls go to voicemail and you do not touch your email. Better yet: have two separate chunks of time where you do this.  Focus on your work.
2. When setting appointments with clients, give them options that fit within YOUR schedule. (This seems crazy at first.  You really want the sale, and should you be accommodating your schedule to theirs?  NO.)  You will be better able to service your clients if you are in the right mind-frame.  I try to stack all of my appointments on the same day or same two days each week (Tuesdays and Thursdays).  When I’m in selling mode, I’m “in the zone”.  When I’m interrupted to take a last minute meeting, I’m not giving the client my best.  I’m distracted and thinking about the project I was working on.  ALSO – people hire BUSY people.  People aren’t as interested in hiring non-busy people.  (The client says, “Hmm… she doesn’t seem that busy.  She took my appointment immediately.  I wonder why she isn’t busy.  She seems desperate.”)
3. Manage other interruptions. If you have staff people that ask a lot of questions, encourage them to save their questions and check in with them from time to time.  I know from experience that if staff people are asking me a lot of questions there are 3 things happening: 1) I haven’t trained them well enough, 2) I haven’t empowered them to make decisions, 3) They are scared of messing up and need validation from me.  Try to manage the question-asking by improving these 3 factors.  And, if you really need to get work done – go find a coffee shop for an hour out of your office.
4. Batch your repetitive tasks.  Batch alllllllllllllll of your tasks: voicemail, email, client projects, staff training, and so on.  The time that it takes for your mind to set and reset between tasks is a time-sucker.  It’s also what makes you feel out of control with your day.  It’s much more productive to go through your inbox for 1.5 hours and answer all email than constantly be interrupted every 10 minutes over the period of 4 hours and answering each little request.  BATCHING will help you gain better control of your day.

Professionalism is the Priority

If you let your calls go to voicemail and let your inbox fill up, you still need to get back to people.  Make it a goal to empty your voicemail and inbox before you go home.  There may be larger projects that the calls and emails introduce.  You don’t need to resolve them that very minute.  For example, emails from clients often mean edits and redesign for me.  This isn’t something that I can do quickly. And, if I’m focused on other work, it isn’t right for me to drop everything to start something new.  I batch my edits so that I’m doing them about once or twice a week.  I tell the client, “These are really great changes to your designs!  I’ll send you a revision by the end of Thursday.”  Put it on your to do list for Thursday.

Keep it REAL ~ Keep it FLEXIBLE

Let’s be realistic here… nothing is perfect.  And trying to perfectly control your day ain’t going to work either.  I’ve lost count the many times I’ve had a day all mapped out to have the school principal call me to pick up my sick baby.  You WILL have interruptions.  You need to have flexibility in your schedule or it won’t work.  PLUS, I get super bored if my schedule is a little too strict.  Some people like to have every Tuesday be client day.  Some people want every Wednesday to be sample day.  I can operate like that only for a couple months.  I get extremely bored.  I do mix up my days… but there are two things I live by: minimizing my distractions and batching my tasks.

What do you think?  What do you do to have better control over your day?

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I LOVE wine tasting.  It’s probably what I miss most about living in California and Washington.  Sadly, there are no vineyards in South Florida.  I love the ritual of going from vineyard to vineyard and tasting wines, meeting the owners, talking to them about their business.  My favorite tasting rooms always have some crackers and/or cheese to nibble on.  Yes, you probably know that I do love cheese… and this adds to the whole experience.  But, the cheese and crackers add an important element to the wine tasting experience.  Their purpose is not to fill patrons’ bellies.  Their purpose is to cleanse the palate.  The cheese and crackers serve to give your tastebuds a rest, a break, between wines.  This is so that you can fully experience and taste each wine independently.  I love all of this wine tasting ritual!

What if we applied this process of cleansing the palate to our work and personal life?  What if we implemented something in our day to introduce a break between our work time and our personal time?  What if we had a habit of doing ________ to signal the end of our work day and the beginning of our personal time, our family time, our relaxation time?

When I had a studio outside of my home, this “cleansing ritual” was as simple as my drive home.  The 20 minute drive allowed my mind to wander into all sorts of different places.  Once I got home… voila!  New perspective!  However, these days, with my office now in my home, I don’t have a ritual of doing something to completely BREAK myself from my work day.  This is the peril of a) having an office in your home, and b) having technology only a few fingertips away.

But, I’ve been giving great thought to this lately.  I am going to find something I enjoy doing… and do it every day for 15 minutes between my work day and my personal time.  This can be as simple as reading a gossip magazine lazily on my sofa, going for a walk around the block, or sitting in my backyard.  I’m going to work on cleansing my proverbial “palate” every day… so that I can truly enjoy the time I spend in the evening with my family.

How about you?  What are you going to do to cleanse your “palate”?

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I talk a lot about working on HUGE projects in chunks of 30 minutes per day.  My rationale is that you can do ANYTHING if you piece it into small bites.  I like to set a timer so that a 30 minute project doesn’t swallow my entire day by becoming a 5 hour project.  Lately I’ve been thinking of all the things – small and large – that you can get done in 30 minutes.  There are also little tasks that can make a big difference when you only have a small amount of time.  (I suffer from not wanting to start a project if I have a phonecall in 30 minutes.)  So, here is my list of small and large projects you can get done in 30 minutes – broken down into small challenges and large ones.  Pick only one of these to do each day and commit yourself to 30 minutes.

Small (quickie) 30 minute challenges:

These are the quick little projects that’ll make you feel just a little bit better about yourself and your biz.  These are usually one-timers that can be done when you have a small chunk of time where you are waiting for a call or an appointment.

1. Clean out a file drawer.
2. Make a coffee date with someone you want to know better in the wedding industry.
3. Wipe down your desk and computer screen.
4. Call your mom.
5. Pay 5 bills.
6. Clean your thing-a-majigger draw (you know, the one with the paper-clip explosion).
7. Write a blog post (idea: the thing that excites you most about your business).
8. Take a 30 minute walk to clear your head.
9. Write down 5 things that make your business different.
10. Read a business article in a magazine, blog, or book.
11. Send a thank you note to someone who has helped your business.
12. Take a nap.
13. Read your goals for 2010.
14. Give.  Find a charity or non-profit and donate $5 to their cause.
15. Sign up for a networking event.

Large (long-term) 30 minute challenges:

These are the HUGE projects that when broken up into 30 minute chunks, you can accomplish over time.  These are the items that you’ll repeat every day, 30 minutes at a time, until you are done.

1. Clean out your email inbox.
2. Work on one piece of your business plan.
3. Write a book: one page at a time.
4. Organize a large pile (or box) of denial.
5. If you have months of receipts, input them into your accounting software.
6. De-clutter: Grab a bag and find 10 things to throw away in your office.
7. Redesign your website: one page at a time.  (Work on the concept and the flow if you are not the designer.)
8. Organize inventory
9. Write down systems and procedures for your business: one process at a time.
10. Design a new collection, a new product, or a new division of your business.
11. Create a database of every person you’ve ever done business with.
12. Clean out your computer files.
13. Organize an open house for your business.
14. Plan for the next wedding show (that you attend as an exhibitor).
15. Train an employee on a new responsibility.

Do you notice how none of these items included “check facebook” “talk on twitter”?  (Yes, I do a lot of that too.)  The point is that if you really commit yourself to spending time on something – even in little increments – you can accomplish a lot.  Are you short on time?  Or, are you short on commitment?

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You know that feeling of exhilaration that you feel as you are on an airplane on your way to a relaxing vacation?   It’s that feeling of excitement, exhaustion, euphoria, relaxation… all bound together. Why is that?  Yes, you are going on a very much-needed vacation.  It’s a feeling that is based not only on the fact that you are taking time off, but also a feeling of completion.

Chances are that you have spent the last several days getting everything in order.  You have crossed your t’s, dotted your i’s, signed the last check, sent out proposals and contracts, sent the last email, cleaned your desk, put up your out-of-office email response, and shut down your voicemail.  All of the loose ends have been contained.  And, gosh darnit… doesn’t it feel AMAZING?!

This is a concept that David Allen talks about in his book, “Getting Things Done”.  The idea is that in order to truly live at peace, you should be containing all your loose ends (he calls them “open loops”) every day.  I recommend you read the book to get the skinny on how to do this.  His easy tools and tips require about a day to set up.  It’s easy as pie.  And, it can revolutionize your work flow.

Yesterday, we talked about doing a monthly review of your business.  This made me think of David Allen’s concept.  Wouldn’t it be great to have that “on vacation” feeling every weekend?  (I’d love to have it every day, but I’ll settle for the weekends.)  Now… I know that MANY/MOST of you work on weekends… (darn those people for marrying on a Saturday!)… I’m going to be realistic and say this isn’t possible EVERY weekend.  BUT, you need to define your boundaries and make sure that you are creating pockets of time off in your schedule or you will burn out – and fast.  If you work on Saturday, take Monday off.  If you have 3 weddings in 3 weekends in a row, make sure the 4^th one is off.

So, here is my challenge for today… pick a weekend (or a day) to have that “on vacation” feeling… it could be this weekend, or the following.  On the day before your “weekend”, spend two hours doing the following:

• Quickly, spend 15-20 minutes cleaning your desk.  Remove all papers and files.  Put everything “out of place” into a pile onto the floor.  Wipe and clean your desk.
• Repeat for any other countertops or shelves that collect your “random stuff”. Put everything “out of place” into a pile onto the floor.
• Make 3 file folders (or boxes) labeled:
  • Now
  • Projects
  • Filing
    Note: These are temporary so don’t over-think this process.
• Start a to-do list with 2 categories:
  • Now
  • Projects
    Leave this list blank until we get to the next step.
• Let’s go through the “out of place” pile on the floor.  Grab the pile and do the following:
  • One by one, grab each item, spend 2 seconds and decide:
    • Is this something I need to take care of now before the weekend?  (Limit yourself to very few of these – max 5.)
    • Do I need this to complete a project?  (These are projects to be worked on next week.)
    • Do I need to file this for future reference?  (This is an item that is not actionable, but you might need for reference in the future.)
  • As you are working through each item, file them in their folder.  Add the “now” items to your to-do list (remember, you should only have a maximum of 5).  Add the “projects” to the list.
  • Take your 3 file folders and find a place for them.  With the exception of the “now” file, you will be revisiting the “projects” and “filing” folders after your weekend.
• Open your email account.  Similar to the “out of place” file, go through your email inbox like this.  (If you have 988 emails spanning back to 2004, then do this with the most recent emails that can still be actionable.   The rest of your 900 emails deserve another blog article.)  Decide:
  • Now items: address immediately  (don’t dilly-dally, just do)
  • Project items: add to your to-do list
  • Filing: File away in archive folders in your email account
• If you have any phonecalls you need to make, make them.
• Review the “Now” list and “Now” folder.  What are those 5 things you HAVE to do before you can enjoy your weekend?  Do them.
• Do your “things” start to feel a little more under control?  Does your desk look nice?  Is your email a little more managed?  Time for the BRAIN DRAIN! Grab your to-do list and sit at your clean desk.  Go through the following categories of your life and grab any “loose items” from your head:
  • Personal: your, your family, your friend’s needs
  • Clients: any open items to be resolved next week
  • Business: any goals and plans you need to work on next week
  • Other: anything racing through your mind that you need to do

You should feel much more euphoric now… and ready for that “on vacation feeling”… enjoy the weekend!

Want this is in a handy-dandy download?  Print it out and put it on your calendar for Friday!  Download here: Sage Wedding Pros On Vacation Feeling. Find other downloads by clicking here.

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Lately, I have a lot on my plate.  And, people always ask me, “How do you do it all?”  And, I usually answer something to the effect of “Somehow it all gets done.  I don’t know how, but it does.”  And, that’s not true.  This is the myth of people who do and manage so many jobs and responsibilities. NO ONE gets it ALL done.

There are two things that people like myself are good at doing: Choosing and Prioritizing.  I don’t get it all done.  I choose.  Every day I make choices about what is most important at that given moment.  And, some things are not chosen.  Some things are simply not done.

There are days I choose to get to the office early over taking a shower.  There are days that I choose to write a blog post over sleeping.  There are days that I choose to play with Lili over doing my bookkeeping. There are days that I choose to work on Get Hitched Give Hope over mmm… paper.  There are days that I choose to meet a printing deadline for The Simple Plan workbook over taking Lili to the park.  That is the long and short of it.  Lara Casey recently talked about how she hasn’t slept, worked out, eaten, laughed, or blogged while trying to finalize the last print edition of Southern Wedding Magazine.  ‘Tis true!  No one gets it all done.

I want you to know this, especially if you are new to the wedding business… especially if you are new to entrepreneurship.  I’ve always looked up to people who “get it all done”.  I have looked up to them as incredible super-beings who are on top of the world.  And, truth be told there is some pride in having people ask you, “Michelle, how do you do it all?”  But, it’s a big fat myth.  No one does it all.  We choose.  We prioritize.  And, we must do a pretty decent job at choosing and prioritizing because people seem to think we get it all done.  (HA!  Oh 24-hour-fitness, you and I are unrequited lovers long overdue for a reunion.)

Everyone has different methods of prioritizing.  I wrote about this recently in the post, Prioritizing for your Small Business.  I make lists and I condense my “priority list” down to the most important and most urgent.  I usually have 10 manageable things on my condensed list (and about 50 other sheets of paper held with a binder clip of assorted other to-dos, along with my google tasks online.)  And, I also make “on the spot” assessments of what is most important at that given moment.  I may have a list of SUPER important things, but a 2-year-old begging me “Mommy, go room.  Mommy, play bear house.”  I may have to ignore my list for one of the ladies and gent of GHGH who need help in a pinch.

I choose.  I prioritize.  That is what I do.

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You launched your business out of a deep passion and desire to create something out of nothing.  You took your love of something creative and built it into a business, slowly but surely.  And, then after time, you began to see that it wasn’t just the creative “thing” that you were working on, but a myriad of other things: paying bills, cleaning desks, answering email, returning phonecalls, and meetings meeting meetings!  You are a juggler.  How well do you keep all the balls up in the air?

One of the greatest skills you can perfect as a small business owner is your ability to prioritize. Can you attend to the most important and most urgent responsibilities daily, or do you get swallowed up in small tasks?

Here are my 6 easy tips for prioritizing:

1. Get it all down on paper. We all make lists… we are organized wedding pros.  But, make a huge master list – ESPECIALLY when you feel overwhelmed.
2. Circle the items that need to happen today. These are the very urgent items that will affect your reputation (and your ability to stay in business.)  These are URGENT and IMPORTANT items.
3. Put a star next to the items that are IMPORTANT but not URGENT.  These are items that have long-term value, but are not urgent.  You will not be ridiculed in the media if they don’t happen today.  They can be prioritized tomorrow or next week (when things slow down a bit.)
4. Take a look at how many items you have circled – and, if feasible, some of the starred items.  Can you get those done in a reasonable amount of time today?  If so, get moving!  If not, trim it down with most urgent and most important.
5. Take a look at the items without a circle or star.  Are any of them urgent but not important?  How important are they?  Make a call as to whether they need to happen today.   If they are a maybe – put a question mark next to them.
6. Take a look at the items with no annotations. They are just sitting there, ready to suck your time.  Scratch them off your list.  Write them down somewhere else.  Come back to them later.  Just seeing them on your list will cause you undue stress.  Revisit them a month from now.

A sample list:

Years ago, I read the Stephen Covey book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.  In it, Covey talks about putting “first things first”.  He warns that often we get carried away with the “urgent matters” (the clients needing their things TODAY) that we don’t make time for the “important matters”.  He reminds us to keep our long-term vision at the forefront of our tasks and responsibilities and not to lose sight of this vision in our more urgent tasks.  This is a good thing to remember.  I like to keep a special “important not urgent” list separate.  I circle back to this list once a week or so and chisel away at it.  (On that list?  Updating my business plan!)

Bottom line: It doesn’t need to all happen today.  Just pare your list down to what’s manageable and go from there!