Are You Nice?

When I was a kid, I was as likable as the next guy.  I had good friends and I can’t complain about my relationships with classmates.  But, there was this girl in my class: Tracy.  Everyone REALLY LIKED Tracy.  Yes, Tracy was smart, cute.  But, there was so much more.

I was fascinated by this.  And, I decided that I was going to study Tracy.  I was going to analyze her every move.  How does she do it?  I thought, “I really like Tracy.  I’m going to do everything that she does.”  And I did.  I literally copied her every move.  Well – I tried.  I’d like to think I succeeded, at least for a short while… until the next fad hit me.  I think I did this for a week.

Do you know what I learned while I was studying her every move?  It was simple: SHE WAS NICE.  (I still know Tracy and I’ll tell you, she *IS* nice.)

People sincerely liked her and liked being around her.  She was often voted “nicest” and “friendliest” and “happiest”.  She had this way of making others feel good and feel good about themselves.  Part of it was her natural positivity and part of it was her cheerful soul.  But, mostly, she was just so nice to everyone.

Tracy was nice to every single person in school… which is saying a lot for 6th grade when people aren’t always so nice.

Image: Creative Commons License

Nice Guys Finish First

Honest.  They do.  Eventually karma catches up… for better or for worse it will catch up.  And, the people who are nice are the ones who are often doing the best.

I think of people that I admire in my career (and in my previous careers) and it is the people who were the nicest that are on top.

Why is this?  Well… think about it… when someone is nice to you, don’t you want to do something nice back?  I sure do.  When someone is nice to you, don’t you notice them?  When someone goes out of their way to be nice (even in a small gesture), does it make you see them more clearly?  I know that when people are kind to me, I notice them.  I want to help them back.  I want to help them as people, as business owners.  When people do nice things, I feel better about myself… and, as a result, I feel better about them too.

People do Business with People

I got to listen to Brett Culp, from Brett Culp Films talk last week at Wedding and Event Video Expo (WEVA Expo).  He shared with us his “business plan” which is a core ideology for how he runs his film business.  It’s pretty simple:

  • Do Great Work
  • Show it to LOTS of People
  • Be REAL Nice

I love this!  I love all of it… but I especially love the “Be REAL Nice”.  These days everyone is sweatin’.  We’re sweatin’ about our equipment, our branding, our websites, our gear, our style, and so on.  BUT(!)—- all the client cares about is THE PERSON that he or she does business with.  That’s also the only thing that your colleagues in the industry care about also.  Yes, you have to provide quality and you have to be able to deliver on your promises.  But, at the end of the day… the client is less concerned what kind of camera you own and more concerned with how they are going to be treated.

Shed everything from your business… and what is left?  Are you nice?

August 31, 2010 - 12:57 pm

Bethel Nathan – Ceremonies by Bethel - I so completely agree! We all want to work with and help those vendors and clients who are nice to us – who seem to genuinely be nice, and not just pretending, as pretending can’t be maintained for very long. I’ve always had the “Be Real and Be Real Nice” as part of my ideology, but never thought to add it to my actual business plan. Great idea!

August 31, 2010 - 3:06 pm

Trudy - Great post! I am very real but I am not always seen as “nice.” Most people won’t see you as nice if you are more of a logic-centric person versus emotion-centric person. But I do try to show that I still care too and I have extremely long friendships (somewhat rare for women these days) and sisterhoods to reflect that. Hopefully I can convey that to my clients more as well.

Thanks for such a lovely post.

August 31, 2010 - 8:43 pm

Juliet Douglas - LOVE this post! As my husband always says to me, “people do business with people they like”. I’m always impressed when I see a talented and super successful business person who remains “nice”. I remember what a videographer once said to me when I first started in the business, “remember to always stay humble”. I will never forget that.

September 26, 2010 - 11:20 am

Joan~Five Grain Events - I love that you wrote about this. When I started the business I could really see the competitive side of things, but I’ve tried to make it my goal to just do well for ME, and be really nice to everyone I come into contact with–even my “competitors”. So far it’s working out well, and I know in the long run it will be so ten-fold.

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