Setting Expectations for Client Relationships

Ever work with a condescending client?  You know… the person that intends to micromanage every step of your performance?  It creates for a miserable working situation!  This week, we are having a series of posts, written by Dina Eisenberg, Founder of Positively Wed, an educational resource for wedding professionals.  This week she addresses the concerns of how to avoid working with difficult clients, and how to make the difficult relationships more peaceful.

My favorite professor in law school had a saying that’s true to this day, ‘People are like eggs. Some are fragile. Others are strong.  Some of them are cracked.  You have to take them as you find them.’

It’s absolutely true that each couple, each bride, will be different for you.  Some will be grateful for your help and appreciate all you do.  Others, not so much.  While the popular thinking is that the customer is always right.  I don’t agree with that.

I take the stance that everyone deserves to work with me as their wedding vendor coach, but no one is entitled to my help.  That means that when a client misbehaves, I have a right to:

• Set expectations about our working relationship
• Remind the bride or couple of the best ways to work with me
• Fire a client when the situation calls for it.

That’s a lot to take in, and even more to accomplish, especially if you’re worried about losing a client or unintentionally driving away potential clients.  So,  I created a series of posts to discuss what you can do to create an ideal working environment for your wedding business.

While most of my comments will reference wedding planning or corporate work, don’t be fooled.  These suggestions work well for any wedding business.

What did you expect?

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. ~ Brian Tracy

Here’s a fairly popular scenario I hear.   You- the wedding pro- planned the essential parts of your wedding business like the name, logo and what type of bride you’d serve.   Then you set out to get clients, any clients so long as they were getting married and picked you.   No shame in that.  Every new business owner feels that way.  [best Captain Kirk voice] I MUST GET CLIENTS!  Preferably paying ones.

So, the lions share of your effort went into attracting clients with little thought to who they really are-  inside.  Your phone rings, but you’re not always so thrilled with who you’re talking to.  Over time, you come to resent your brides, their annoying, intimidating ways, and frankly, your business for making you feel petty and unsure.   Designing and planning weddings just isn’t fun anymore thanks to your difficult clients.  So how do you take back your joy and make work fun again?  Set expectations.

Set Expectations

Doesn’t’ matter where you are in your business, brand new or veteran, real businesses have policies and rules.  You need some, even though you may think of wedding planning, or photographer or officiating or DJing as personal and not something to sully with legalese.

Feh!  Rules can be kind and thoughtful. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that it’s irresponsible not to have guidelines.  How could you expect someone to know how to act if she’s  never experienced working with a wedding professional before?

It’s really up to you to set the tone both with clients and, if needed, with other wedding professionals for what you expect from your working relationship.   You’ll save yourself untold aggravation and be rewarded with clients that really do value you when you set expectations.

Know What You Want

My dad used to say, ‘If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.’, which seemed awful cryptic when I was thirteen. Now, as a business woman I understand it better.  Loosely translated in this context, it means create policies that work for you.

When I started out training corporate managers to be more comfortable with communication, I worked with a lot of non-profits.  I totally got their mission to do good and was sympathetic to their lack of  funding.  I tried to be as flexible as possible until one day when the HR manager innocently asked if I could accommodate  just two more participants.  Wanting to be helpful, I said yes.  Eight more folks showed up and totally blew the budget.

I actually lost money because of those additional folks. Lessons learned.  And, that was how my pro bono policy was born.  Each quarter, my company donated x number of hours or  y dollar amount, whichever came first, to non-profits that needed support.   Although I was nervous, sharing this policy had a positive effect.  I could help when I could without feeling guilty. And, when I finally said no, clients understood.

Want to reduce difficult clients?  Create some guidelines and policies. Be brave, here.  This is your business.  The one you care for and nurtured along.  Your  baby, your rules.  So, don’t try to be too accommodating.  Be realistic. Meet your own needs.  I know that sounds harsh, but it’s like they say on the plane- put on your own mask before helping others.   Having things your own way is the best perk of having your own business.

Ask yourself how you prefer to handle these types of issues then write it down:

• Payments- late, post-dated, non-payment, pre-payment, vendor payments, etc.   Definitely, a touchy subject, you want to have a set plan for how to handle money issues and time to practice saying it out loud.  Really.  You don’t want to stutter when you tell a bride that you won’t be able to continue services unless her final balance is paid.
• Deadlines- decide which deadlines are non-negotiable to you then share that with your couple.  Promote compassion by explaining what happens if the deadline is missed and how that can impact their wedding.
• Scope of Project- absolutely a must if you want to avoid ‘the creep’.  You know, the ‘one more little thing’  I once worked with a general contractor that required we talk over each change order on the job.  Smart guy because after the first two, the aggravation of scheduling a meeting and talking over the change prompted me to get with the program. What could you do to be open while still protecting your business against overreaching?

Of course, you’ll have your own ideas.  I’d love to hear what you come up with.  Please share your ideas about creating boundaries in the comments so everyone benefits.

About PositivelyWed.com-

Dina Eisenberg, Founder and former attorney & mediator, teaches wedding professionals like you to speak and act with grace, power and confidence so you can fall back in love with your wedding business!  Grab her free audio, Contracts That Work, at http://PositivelyWed.com