Turning Away Business

This week we’ve been discussing consults: how to create a consistent client experience and how to identify a difficult client.  The big question of the week is:

“How do I turn away a client that I don’t want to work with?”

There is no easy way to do this.  It’s like telling a date that dinner was really nice but you don’t want to see them again.  ARGH.  Painful.

You do need to find your own style.  But, I’m going to give you some help.  Here are my tips:

Don’t Lie

Don’t say you are booked.  Why did you take the consult appointment in the first place?  It also makes you look flakey.  And personally, I can smell a liar a thousand miles away.  Honesty is key to the integrity of your business.  Even if that client is not a match, you want to do this honestly.

Practice Makes Perfect

The first time is really hard.  And, you will likely be bad at turning away a client.  You will feel like a goof.  You will feel clumsy.  You will probably not look very good.  But, it does get easier.  And, learning how to do this is VITAL to the success of your business (and your sanity).

Did You Listen?

In the consult, you should have been able to identify key reasons as to why this bride or groom is not a match for your business.  You will need to know these reasons to help identify why it is not a match.

Allow Them To Turn You Down

Once you get good at identifying the “red flags” of a difficult client you’ll become skilled at “steering the consult”.  When a client comes in with demands that I know I cannot fulfill, I start asking questions, “So, tell me, is this what you are looking for?”  I fully know what the answer is going to be.  I explain to them my limitations and fears in being able to fulfill their needs.  They start to see where this is going.  We both come to the same conclusion: it’s not a match.  It’s amicable.  This is a mutual break-up.  If you listen to what they are saying, you can put it onto their court.  The decision becomes theirs to turn you down.

This Is Business

I know this is nutty, but one of the best lessons I learned about being in business was from the TV show “The Apprentice”.  Trump says, “Don’t take this personally.  This is business.”  This is a tough thing to swallow in an industry that is VERY personal.  But just knowing (in your head and your heart) that this is a business decision will make you feel stronger.  This doesn’t mean you have to be cruel to your client.  It just means that in your head you need to believe in your reason for doing this: It is a smart business decision.

Be Humble

Even if you are an “award-winning” wedding pro who can have their pick of clients… and, even if you have an artistic form that is unique and untouchable… do not be a diva (or a dick.)  I’ve heard a few stories of arrogant pros that basically tell the client, “That is beneath me.  I will not do that.  That is so boring (or ugly – or tacky.)”  You may feel that you cannot compromise your artistic integrity.  But, you don’t have to be mean about it.  This is the most important day of people’s lives.  Don’t spit on it.  Yes, I’ve had people ask me for invites with doves and interlocking hearts.  I won’t do them.  But, I wouldn’t dream of telling them that they are passé (or dare I say it, tacky.)  This is their dream day.  Don’t ruin it with arrogance.

A Match Is Not A Match

Ultimately, if it’s not a match, it’s not a match.  Trying to make it fit is not only doing you a disservice but also giving your client a bad experience.  If you were unable to “steer the consult” so that the client turns you down, you are going to have to do it.  If they want a proposal and you know it is not a match, you are going to have to let them know.  It’s a difficult conversation, but YOU CAN DO IT.  (It gets easier over time.)  You need to find a way that is comfortable for you.

For me, since it involves invitation design, I focus on the design element “You are a lovely couple and I would love to work with you.  But, I need to be honest.  I don’t think I’m going to be able to provide the service you want.  You want x and my expertise is y.  (Or, your deadline is x and my timeline is y.)  I think you will be much better suited with another designer.”

If you are providing a service, it is a little more challenging because you can’t pin it down on something tangible like “creative differences”.  Sometimes it is just a personality mismatch.  You have to remember that if you are planner, a wedding is your product.  Whether the client is a little coo-coo or their taste is different than yours, you are not going to be able to provide the wedding they want.  You need to let them know that.  They may be put off in the beginning.  But, by assuring them that you really just want them to have the best wedding and that you are not the one to give them that, they will be better in the end.

Help Them Find A Match

Depending on why I turn away business, I usually give people some recommendations.  I never want to send a bridezilla to another vendor.  But, usually it is a design mismatch or a personality mismatch.  If it is a bridezilla, I try to identify what about them is difficult.  There are some planners who work wonders on difficult people and can handle all types!  Knowing how to match people is part of your job.  You need to know when it’s a good match for you, and when it’s a good match for someone else.

You will “make good” by helping the client find a match.  By identifying key needs of theirs and helping them find someone to work with will reflect strongly on your business.  “You said that you wanted to have white doves flying overhead while 10 small children toss soft pink petals by your feet as you walk down the aisle to the song You are so Beautiful.  I know of a planner who is also an awesome designer.”

Helping them find a match is key to having a good reputation.  It will also personally make you feel better to have a solution for them.  Furthermore, they will remember your generosity.  I’ve had people refer their friends to me even though we were not a match.  Kindness and generosity go a long way – even with a bridezilla!

In Summary…

There is no easy way to do this.  You need to find your own style.  But, if you listen and learn what the client wants, you can determine whether it’s a match.  FOCUS on making a MATCH.  Whether that match is with you or with someone else, your job is to find a solution.

What do you think, wedding pros?  What are your tips for letting someone down?