Identifying a Difficult Client

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We’ve all had her as a client: the bridezilla!  Oh, I wish it was a stereotype, but she is out there.  And, her sidekick, groomzilla, is equally cringe-inducing.  I’ve been very fortunate to deal with very few of these in my career.  But, the times I did have a bridezilla or groomzilla client I asked myself over and over, “How did I let this happen to me?”

When I first started my wedding invitation business, I took on everyone as a client.  I’d had a few “Devil Wears Prada” type of bosses in my job history, so I was accustomed to dealing with difficult personalities.  I prided myself on being able to work with anyone with any personality.  I valued my flexibility and adaptability.  I thought that I was being awesome.  HA.

In the last three years, I’ve put my foot down. I’ve learned how to see the monsters coming and I steer clear.  I can probably still deal with these people.  I can talk most people off a ledge.  I’ve counseled a few clients on their mother-daughter issues.  I’ve mediated between couples battling over eggplant vs. encre.  But why?  Why go through all this?  This is not my job.  My job is to create not to mediate.  It is not to walk on pins and needles around my clients.

So, how do I identify this breed? They do seem nice when they first come in, don’t they?  First of all, you have to toughen up your gut.  I have a pretty good instinct about people.  I can read body language and have a little internal radar for difficult people.  (I think this stems from my days as an auditor when I was trained to detect fraud.)  If you pay attention, listen, and watch you can strengthen this ability.

There are also “red flag” indicators.  Sometimes you will see these warning signs.  Other times you have to ask the right questions.  Kelly Simants helped me compile the list below of warning signs. These are different for everyone, but they have been helpful to us in our businesses.

Indicators that your client is going to be a difficult one…

• If a potential client says, “I’m very hands on and like to be in control”
  Typically, that means they will have a hard time trusting you and won’t be able to let go and relax on their wedding day.  It also tends to mean that if you provide them with advice, they’ll have a hard time listening and will do what they want regardless of your expertise in the field.  If you want to feel someone out for this, ask them, “How active do you want to be in the planning of your wedding?”
• If the first question out of their mouth is “What is your price?”
  Typically, that means they are just looking for the lowest price out there and likely don’t understand the value of your product or services.
• If there is an inappropriate sense of urgency or ridiculous level of expectation.
  If they come into the consult wanting invites mailed next week, their expectations and understanding of your business are way off.  I recommend that you dig deeper.  Do they need more knowledge into your process?  Maybe they don’t understand that custom design can take 4-8 weeks.  However, if they seem impatient, or they failed to plan, it is sign that they will likely be putting a great amount of pressure on you to produce a small miracle.
• If they say, “I’ve planned everything and it’s a simple wedding, so really all I need for you to do is come in on the “Day-Of” and set-up/take-down”.
  Again, in my experience they don’t understand the value of a Wedding Planner and realize that I can’t just show up on their wedding day without having done quite a bit of prep work with developing their timeline, confirming details with wedding professionals, etc.  It’s also likely not a “simple” wedding like they might tell you it is.  Personally, I spend 40-50 hours for a “Day-Of” type of package which is why I have decided to educate clients that this is more of a “Month-Of” type of package.  I don’t know anyone who can just walk in on the day of a wedding without having done any prep work beforehand, but that’s what many brides think we can do!

  This also goes for photographers and florists.  If the client is saying, “Oh, all I really need is a couple hours of photography” or, “I can buy the flowers, can you arrange them?”  They don’t really understand what it is that you do and what it really entail.

• If someone else is in charge of their wedding.
  You may LOVE the client.  But, they may not be the one actually planning the wedding.  And, you won’t know unless you find out.  Ask questions about who is hosting the wedding.  Ask them about their family participation.  (“How do you want to involve your family in the wedding?”)  The answer could be as simple as, “I just want them to have a good time”.  The red flag would be, “Oh, my mother is VERY involved in every detail of this wedding.”  The mother may be wonderful and sweet as pie.  But, you’ll definitely want to meet mom before you make any proposal.  You will be working with her, not the bride.
• If they cut you off, are rude to you, etc.
  If they treat you like that during a consultation, imagine what they might be like on their wedding day.
• If you walk away from a consult and have a bad feeling but aren’t sure exactly why…go with your gut!
  They probably aren’t a good match for you, and it’s ok to refer them to another Planner who might be a better fit for them.  Sometimes it really is a personality difference and they are best suited for another personality.

What do you think?  What are your “red flag” indicators of difficult clients?

Tomorrow, we’ll talk about how to turn away business.  This is ALWAYS challenging, but sometimes necessary.